Peter and me.

Many people read the end of John 21 and wonder why Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him three times in a row. Many think it is Jesus equating it to the three times that Peter denied Jesus, thus making them even. Sadly, for Peter and for us, it is much deeper.

There are two distinct Greek words for ”love” used in this conversation.

AGAPE – Unconditional, perfect, pure, selfless

PHILEO – Brotherly or friendly affection

Phileo is a much lesser form of love and, with that in mind, read the passage with the Greek words inserted:

John 21:15-17 - When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly AGAPE me more than these?”
      ”Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I PHILEO you.”
      Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly AGAPE me?”
      He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I PHILEO you.”
      Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you PHILEO me?”
      Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you PHILEO me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I PHILEO you.”

Notice that Jesus essentially downgraded the form of love in the third question. It might be better to re-word the third question as, “do you even phileo me?” You can see why Peter was hurt. It wasn’t that Jesus badgered him over love; Jesus knows all things, and knew the right question to ask.

Peter couldn’t love Jesus in the way that Jesus called him to, and he wasn’t going to lie to His face by using the same word that Jesus did. You can only imagine how much it would hurt for Jesus to ask you face to face if you even loved Him as much as you say you do.

Do you ever feel like Peter? Thank goodness for the cross because we are not worthy of His agape.

None of us loves Jesus in the way that He would call us to. Simply put, we will always fall short of what He expects of us. Regardless, Jesus will not lower His expectations of us.